Happy birthday Baba

Today is your birthday.

I don’t know why I always remember.

I seem to always think of it days before, as if I had something to plan for it.

But there’s nothing.

You’re not there.

When I was young, I would count the months between the times I would see you.

Often, the years.

Now that I’m older, I count the months between the times I speak to you.

Again, months that become years.

When I look in the mirror, I see nothing but you.

Your eyes, nose and smile.

Yet when I look in my memories, you are nowhere to be seen.

I no longer wait on a call.

Nor on a visit.

I no longer wish on the first star of the night for you to come back.

I’m no longer the little girl you once knew.

Today we are strangers to each other.

That will probably never change.

However today is your birthday, and I will probably think of nothing but you.